What Pregnancy Has Taught Me...

I remember once telling students that there is no logical reason to every have children; and it's true. It's not an easy job, sometimes it's thankless and exhausting and to procreate really only has emotional and evolutionary purposes. But, what I didn't realize, in my pre-pregnant self, was the spirituality, meaning and life change that having a child can bring to you. I have been so forever changed by this process; and I haven't even had him yet! 

So, I was reflecting earlier today on what I have learned thus far from my pregnancy, since it has been so life-changing. Here is a summary of things my pregnancy has taught me thus far:

• Let go of control. You can't control the things you can't control! You need to figure out which are things you can control and focus on those.
• Let go of fear. Although fear is a useful adaptive survival strategy when we are faced with fight or flight situations, it has no business in our every day lives; it crushes our productivity and can paralyze us with an emotion we can do nothing about. What happens will happen and I've learned that you need to deal with it with a calm head and an understanding of what control you do have, which is typically only in your reaction. 
• Listen to your body. Your body has incredible built in systems for alerting you when you are hungry, tired, in pain and ill. The problem is that most of us have turned off listening to our body in order to work harder, better and faster (I know there's a Daft Punk reference in there somewhere). Turning it back on has really been so helpful to not only reconnecting with my body, but to living healthier and happier.
• Appreciate your body. With years of struggling with weight loss and weight gain, as well as just being a female in our culture, I had neglected to really appreciate my body for the miraculous things that it can do. Pregnancy has given me a new outlook on that - my body is literally creating and sustaining life. It created a whole new organ out of nowhere (placenta) to feed my baby and bring him oxygen. My organs shifted to provide room for this new little being. Everything worked in harmony to create a new person. That is amazing and I will always love my body for being able to do this.
• Move slower. I was always in such a big hurry. Now it takes me 10 minutes to roll over. If I try to get up too quickly, my round ligaments (who knew we even had those?!?) remind me quickly to sit back down and try again a little slower. Moving slower helps me stay in the moment more, to really think consciously about what I want to do and is relatively, a more relaxed state of being!
• Breathe it out. I learned to use breathing and relaxation to let things go. Not just pain, which has also been useful. But frustration, fear and other emotional distress. Wilson also seems to like when I do deep breathing - he always seems to interact when I focus on bringing in the positive and letting go of the negative.
• Do what you can when you can. During my pregnancy, I decided to take the time, when I had it, to organize everything in my house, nest and fully decorate Wilson's nursery, start a blog, start a new business (as an Independent Certified Instructor with Baby Signs),  finish my teaching duties until next January, finish my service duties until the end of August, publish 4 more papers, have 6 others in press and 4 more in review, and to educate myself on pregnancy and childbirth. I didn't do this out of wanting to be perfect or even wanting to be an over-achiever. I just realized how precious time was and wanted to take advantage of any down time and making the most out of the time I do have. I think this will come in handy when I have a newborn when I won't have any time!
• Do something active which you enjoy. I love swimming; I feel blissful in water and especially loved the weightless feeling swimming when I am pregnant. I did swimming and yoga during my pregnancy and both helped me keep my weight down and feel happy every time I did them.
• Give yourself a break. I learned to take time to just do nothing: sit down, take a bath, put my feet up, watch television or take a nap. Recharging my batteries has become something that has made me feel so much better.
• Ask for help.  I have learned to self-advocate and to rely on my partner for assistance; and to not feel bad about it, something that took time for me to learn.
• Stay positive. Probably the most important lesson I have learned is to take everything that life and the universe throws at you and stay positive about it. I have Braxton-Hicks contractions all day long now, coupled with crampy more-real contractions. I could look at those as a horrible way to end a pregnancy. But instead I look at them as a way to practice my breathing and visualizations, learn how my body is getting me ready for birth, appreciate it and help my partner understand what I may need of him during the real birth performance. Being positive has helped me approach everything in a new light and minimize body pains and problems during my pregnancy.

 So, in my previous lecture on the irrationality of having children, I was wrong. I now see the reasons to have children and mine isn't even out yet; I see now that to give life is to experience the world with different eyes and to learn life lessons that you may never have learned any other way. And for that, I am thankful.