Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Open Letter to My Mother

Dear Mom,

Today as I was driving to work tonight, caught in a traffic jam, late to work and exhausted from taking care of my sick son all day, it occurred to me that about 50 years ago, with way less technology and information, with little extended family help, you raised 2 sons who were born within the same year. You did this while taking care of the house and our father. I can't imagine how you did that and survived...and raised two boys who are amazing human beings. Then 15 years later, when you were almost ready to say goodbye to two teenage boys, you became pregnant with me. You gave birth to me without medication even when I was flipped the wrong way and gave you lots of back labor (sorry!). Despite being older (and slightly surprised) parents, you and Dad never once acted too tired to play with or talk to me, despite you both working a lot to support us financially. You always made me feel special, important and loved. I never really realized how hard that was until having my own child. Just keeping him alive is a challenge!

This is not to say that we agree on everything and God knows we've had enough conflicts over our values and beliefs over the years. I know we don't agree on a LOT of stuff, but what has impressed me since I had Wilson is that you have been my number one supporter, cheerleader, encourager and support. You've been very careful not to give me advice, rather encouraging my natural mothering instincts and being supportive of my choices, even though they are unconventional. I expected to learn a lot by becoming a mother; and I also had a haunting suspicion that I would regret something when you used to say, "Oh, just wait until you have a kid!!" What I was not prepared for was for my mother to become one of my best friends, despite our differences. Even beyond this, I have become proud to see how you have grown with us over the years, how you have been so loving and accepting of all of us children, despite how difficult we may have made that for you. :)

I just want you to know that as I struggle (and I do!) to be a good mother with little family support for us here, I think of you and how you did this with little money, no iPads, iPhones, DVDs, Skype, Disney Jr., fancy toys, developmental psychology degree or family to help you...You just did this with love and faith in who we kids were as people...and this gives me strength and hope that I can make it through one more day.

I love you,
Misty