Hiring a Doula

When I first started reading the pregnancy and birth preparation books, the first thing I noticed was advice on hiring a doula. I looked into this immediately, but many people, as my mother expressed when I told her about it, have no idea what a doula is. A doula is defined as a labor coach/non-medical professional who assists the expecting mother, partner and family through the provision of information/education, physical and practical assistance, as well as social and emotional support. Essentially, they are counselors for pregnant and laboring women and their families.

My reasons for hiring a doula were three-fold. First, the research shows that women who hire doulas are more likely to have natural births, more satisfying birth experiences and better pregnancy and birth outcomes than those who do not. Many articles have been written on the qualitative and quantitative impact of having a doula - enough to convince me this was a good move. Second, I wanted someone to help me navigate the labor process; I felt at a loss when it came to childbirth and I wanted practical and emotional support. Third, I wanted someone to help Mike. I knew that he has a hard time seeing me in pain. I could imagine him freeze up or freak out during labor or, even worse, punch a medical professional who hurt me or did something against my will. I felt like a doula would meet all three needs that we had.

I found, however, that not all doulas are created equally. Some go through extensive training, as required by their employer; some only go through the minimum. Additionally, every person, professional or not, has a personality - that may or may not clash with your own. So, the advice I found was to do your homework, interview the doulas carefully, and follow your instincts on whether or not you click with this person. 

I chose Birth Partners and have been thrilled with them every step of the way. Although I have yet to see how this will impact my labor (since I'm not there yet), I can say this was one of the absolutely BEST decisions we made. When I called Janet the owner, she had this uncanny, almost psychic ability to know what I was looking for before I said it. Before I told her anything about me, she told me she just had a feeling that I wasn't looking for a cheerleader, but someone knowledgeable who could present me with the research and practical information and assist me making good decisions. I wanted to crawl through the phone and hug her. She paired me with Deby Brackett, who I now love and appreciate like she was a member of our family.

Here is what Mike and I have experienced since hiring Birth Partners and Deby. First, we are much better educated. Second, we are much more conscious of our choices and power in the medical system. I have learned to perfect the phrase "I do not consent!" and to ask questions regarding every medical intervention offered for any reason. Deby helped me find my voice and my power, just by making gentle suggestions and encouraging me. Third, she helped us find our current provider, Women's Health Associates, who both Mike and I absolutely love and are so grateful to have been accepted in their practice. Finally, she is someone I can bounce my ideas, concerns, fears, issues off of and she helps guide me in a direction that is positive and makes me feel more empowered. I email her a lot and as part of the contract, you can call them at any time.

We also did some childbirth education with Birth Partners as well. We are doing the childbirth ed class this month, but we have already done their at-home breastfeeding and newborn at home class with Mik, as well as 3 yoga for labor classes at our home with Amy. We learned a lot from Mik and as part of the class, she can help out with breastfeeding support via phone or visit after the baby is born. She also gave us some really good reading material (I'll mention in another post) and products to think about (like the Maya Wrap Sling and Papaya Enzyme for my heartburn (LIFESAVER). Amy was amazing and taught us so many things that Mike and I will take with us in our every day lives, in addition to labor. We learned new yoga strategies, breathing techniques, meditations and music that I promptly bought to either relax to or with which to meditate. The classes with Amy were so amazing because we had our pets around us, got to use our house and practice what me might do in labor. She taught Mike some things to do that were uber-relaxing for me, taught me poses to do in labor and how to use that giant labor ball I have had (p.s. I now love it so much). She also had Mike and I do several easy partner poses and meditations together - one that made me cry hysterically. The feeling of intimacy, spirituality and love was an amazing feeling and I was so happy to know that Wilson would be able to pick up on my emotions at that moment (or at least the hormones/neurochemicals I was sending).

In terms of cost, most doulas have several cost options; an HSA account will cover it and if you have Connecticare Insurance they will pay for post-partum doula care if your provider writes a letter and you only stay in the hospital for 1 day vaginal delivery or 3 days Caesarean. Also, many have a registry option so you can ask for people to donate towards a doula at your shower. For us, it was one of the best decisions we made, given what our ideal birth looks like and what I was trying to avoid in the medical system. Lesson learned here: Set up a support system, which includes like-minded people who share your philosophy. A hired professional like a doula is trained and will not be emotionally invested like your friends and family. They can step back, provide a neutral, non-judgmental outlook and fully empower you to make your own decisions.

P.S. the postpartum doulas will not only watch your infant so you can get some sleep, they can help with cooking and laundry or whatever other practical support you need. Amaze-a-balls.