Blood Pressure Friday!

So I got to experience some interesting things today - both good and bad, but all educational! I went into the midwives' office today with one thing on my mind, "I wonder how my blood pressure will be?" I had some swelling this week and last week my first reading was a little higher than normal for me, but the second reading was normal. My whole family has high blood pressure (like really, my  whole family, but I have never had a problem) and I kept hearing people's voices in my head saying "Be careful of preeclampsia!". So, I got weighed (never helps your blood pressure) and then settled in for my blood pressure reading, which came back high: 140/100. Since my blood pressure is always so good, I knew, before my midwife even came in, this was going to be an issue. I looked at Mike and all of the knowledge I had about blood pressure and preeclampsia came rushing back in. I have always said that I am giving up control over my birth journey and whatever comes will come, but I didn't particularly want it tested right now!

My midwife was great - she came in, we listened to the baby, she made me laugh, then we went back to her office where we talked a lot about other stuff (what to expect with labor and delivery and what they do during the process as midwives), then went back into the exam room for round number 2 of my blood pressure reading. Now, I know how to relax my body; I've been practicing yoga and meditation for years. So I just relaxed and let her take it 3 more times. Unfortunately, my blood pressure went up to 160/100 - not the direction I was hoping! I remembered that my mother has reactive blood pressure, so when she gets nervous, her BP spikes and the doctors have to wait awhile to take it. I tried to go to my happy place, but I just couldn't shut my brain off. So the midwife spent another 20 minutes talking to me about what this meant and didn't mean. She was so awesome and calm; this meant we have to do some further testing, but doesn't necessarily mean I had preeclampsia. She told me about all the options and what each option would mean. She reassured me that they would do nothing without thinking about the balance of all risks; the risks of induction versus the risks of the high blood pressure. She also said if I was having reactive blood pressure, we would see it  in the tests; hypertension and preeclampsia don't respond to time and relaxation. She assured me I would be part of this discussion at all times and the worst case scenario isn't that bad because I'm already 39 weeks pregnant. Even though I was freaking out inside, I was so impressed by how awesome these midwives are. I trusted them implicitly at this point.

I went home, ate some Fiber O's and a banana, then headed to the hospital with Mike. We parked, went and settled in for lots of tests. I did my urine test, then they gave me a hep lock in case I needed medication and took LOTS of blood, put the belt around my belly so they could monitor the baby and then took my blood pressure. At this point, it was up to 177/100 - scary, but understandable since I hate IVs and hospitals, in general. So they put the cuff on me to take readings every 10 minutes, I settled back to listen to Wilson's heartbeat and Mike got me my iPod with my hypnobirthing and hypnobabies relaxations, as well as my meditation music playlist I have already prepared for Wilson's birth. Mike gave me massages, hugs, kisses and just all-around support as I tried to relax.

I listened to my first meditation, which focuses on relaxing your body and your mind, as well as letting go of control of whatever situation you are in - I slipped into relaxation really quickly and really embraced that idea: I was getting tested here (literally and figuratively). I didn't know what was going to happen or which way my birth journey might go from here, but I needed for my mind to let go of the need to know, for me to stop worrying and just let what is going to be, be.  As I was in my relaxation, my nurse came in and was surprised at my reading; she said, "Whatever you are doing, keep doing it! You're blood pressure is way down!" So I did. After getting it way down initially, I noticed a few things with the readings. Every time I thought about the reading or what the reading would mean, my BP would go up a little bit. Every time I relaxed my mind and released complete control and focused on Wilson, being calm and confident, it went way back down - finally settling around 130/78 - still a little high for me, but a huge difference from my earlier reading! All my urine and blood tests came back negative; no signs of high blood pressure or preeclampsia complications.

So, although I now have to do a 24-hour urine catch (how fun!) to make sure everything is ok, I look back at today and realize that 1) I got to practice going to the hospital, 2) I got to hear little Wilson's heartbeat for 2 hours today and to hear him get the hiccups!, 3) I got to practice my breathing and relaxation techniques and 4) I got to put my money where my mouth is. I really do believe that my birth journey will be what it is intended to be, but of course you always hope for the best case scenario. When I had a stumble today, I had the support of my husband, my awesome providers and the hospital staff who made me feel safe. I let go of control, let go of needing to know what would happen and released my anxiety. I was rewarded with my blood pressure going back down, but I now know that no matter would have happened or happens next, I can keep my calm, confidence and relaxed approach to the next turn in the bend of my birthing journey.