My Blessingway

I just had my birth blessing or blessingway with several of my close friends in preparation for birth. It was a way to pay homage to my Native American background and beliefs and connect with women surrounding motherhood and being a woman. It was so spiritual, so meaningful and brought me even closer to being ready for little Wilson to arrive.

Here is what was sent to all the women in their invitations:

Pregnancy is a powerful time in a woman’s life that deserves great respect. A birth blessing is inspired by the ancient wisdom of women throughout the world who, from the beginning of time, have created ceremonies and rituals to express their love and support for expectant mothers. A blessingway is a traditional Native American gathering that focuses on preparing the mother emotionally and spiritually for childbirth and motherhood, rather than supporting her materially for the baby to come. A Blessingway marks a woman’s rite of passage into motherhood and is a ceremony of empowerment for the mother during the birthing process.

Please bring:

• yourself!
• a story of a female ancestor/family member that embodies female strength
• a special unique bead that will be added to a necklace for Misty to wear while in labor
• a blessing, wish, poem, song or quote for Misty during childbirth or motherhood that is written on the enclosed blank card
• a story about a lesson learned being a mother or daughter
• any kind of dish for dinner

This was the ceremony that I designed to be a balance between the traditional Navajo ceremony and a modern one that was more my style... and didn't involve traditional elements like people giving me a foot bath, which would freak me out, frankly. I chose to focus on the support aspect, the story-telling (which is one of my favorite things about Native American culture) and the bead ceremony.

Blessingway

Just as a tree grows best when anchored firmly in the earth, so can a pregnant mother feel strong and capable when supported by a sisterhood of nurturing friends." -April Lussier

Starts with introduction and explanation of what a blessingway is:

The Mother's Blessing  Ceremony, also known as The Blessingway  or Blessing Way Ceremony originates from the Navajo people.  It is a very positive ritual, affirming that a woman will have a natural and beautiful birth experience.  The ceremony marks a woman's rite of passage.  It is a ceremony of empowerment near the time of birthing.  Within a circle of friends in a quiet, gentle, spiritual ceremony, those attending will celebrate sisterhood, welcome a new baby to earth and honor mother, birth, life and rebirth.   

The second part of a blessingway is to ask each member to introduce themselves and how they know the mother-to-be.  Everyone also shares a lesson they have learned as a mother/daughter.

The third part is a smudge ceremony where the mother-to-be lights sage and everyone reflects on an ancestor, living or passed, that they identify as being a powerful maternal figure that embodies what it means to be a woman or a mother.

The fourth part is the bead blessing ceremony.

The creation of a birth beads necklace is a way to honor the process of the mother to be and hold sacred the birthing experience. The mother-to-be wears this necklace or bracelet while in labor to draw upon the strength of her sisters. Each person describes the bead and why they picked the bead for the mother-to-be. Then they read their blessing card, where they wrote a quote or words of encouragement for the mother, and thread that on the separate ribbon as well.

The fifth part is to eat, drink and be merry!!

The final part is to send everyone home with their gift bags.

I had a friend give me sunflowers in a can for everyone since she could not be there in person; they were her prayer that little Wilson will have a sunny disposition like me. I also gave everyone turquoise earrings, an important stone for Natives; it symbolizes the culture, spirituality, wisdom and protection. I made a medicine bag for everyone, which contained crystals with different purposes - mostly positive energy, friendship and strength. A little card of remembrance and thank you to each person for coming to the blessingway and being in my life. And then finally, a labor candle that reads: Welcome Little One. Strong arms will hold you, caring hands will tend you, Love awaits you at every step. These are lit when the mother-to-be goes into labor. So when I go into labor, I will text everyone that attended to let them know (yay for modern combined with traditional!). At that time, everyone lights her candle for strength for me and to welcome baby Wilson into the world.

The whole ceremony was really beautiful. I loved connecting with women that have meant so much to me, to hear their words of advice and to celebrate being a woman and becoming a mother. The words of encouragement, the strength and humility that women are capable of is so encouraging to experience before taking this final journey towards becoming a mother. At the beginning of my pregnancy I was so petrified of giving birth, but this blessingway symbolized my final step towards becoming a mother. Now close to the end of that journey and ready to start a new one (actually being a mother!!), I look forward to labor, childbirth and that moment of meeting Wilson with anticipation, excitement and joy.