Hypnobirthing

So several people have asked me about my experience with taking hypnobirthing classes and what I thought of them. I've heard really interesting things from different people, both good and bad, so I think that hypnobirthing, just like everything else with your pregnancy and birth, is part of a personal journey and not for everyone. But, I'll throw my two cents in and tell you my opinion and my experience.

First, let me be clear at the onset; the hypnobirthing classes changed Mike's and my life. I loved the method, it resonated with me at my core being and felt intuitive and meaningful from the onset. So even though I am going to be as descriptive as possible regarding why I think the method is amazing, please know that I am biased.

When I found our pediatrician, which I did very early on in my pregnancy (this was a theme for me - I knew I could plan for and control very few things, so those were the things I targeted to do when I was early in my pregnancy), I found a link to Hypnobirthing of CT on her resources page. I was curious, so I checked it out. I read how the technique taught you to be relaxed and in control of your emotions throughout your birth and that appealed to me, since I was looking for a new way to view the birth experience. Then I happened upon the videos. I will never forget watching the first video and watching the woman, who they swore was in labor, look like she was resting peacefully. She wasn't screaming, crying or making any vocalizations at all. She looked like she was sleeping during parts of it! The only vocalization, a soft moaning, that she made came when the baby's head and body was actually emerging. I stared at the screen in disbelief. Then I started crying. I didn't know (and still don't) if that was the kind of birth that I could have, but this woman (along with the other videos and numerous women I spoke to or heard about later) did. This kind of birth was within the realm of possibility, which I had not believed before that moment. I started researching the method and then informed my husband that I didn't care how much it cost (it's actually quite reasonable), we were doing these classes. Mike looked slightly frightened by my resolve and simply said, "K."

I contacted Cynthia Overgard, the owner of Hypnobirthing of CT, and immediately found her to be professional, empathic and so personable. I signed up for the classes and actually drove down to Westport to pick up the materials early so I could read the book and start practicing before the class. I read the book in a weekend. There were parts of the book that resonated highly with me and others that did not so much. But I knew for sure that this was going to be a great class. For years I had practiced meditation, guided visualizations, relaxation and yoga. Being a shaman, I could go into an altered state of relaxation pretty quickly so I felt like if anyone could get something out of this class, I could.

And I was not wrong. Our first class, we focused mostly on building a positive expectancy of birth. In fact, Cynthia asked us all what our vision of birth was. It was strange because I couldn't see my vision of birth; Being a skeptical researcher, I wasn't prepared to say relaxing because that might not be a reality for me. So when it was my turn, I said, "I want it to be a spiritual and meaningful experience." I had no idea what that looked like, but it was true. That is what I wanted. The first class focused a lot on positive psychology, understanding all those cultural influences that make us see birth in a negative manner and learning plenty of information on the power of the mind, as well as childbirth education. Both my husband and I found Cynthia to be amazing; she was able to not only give us the knowledge of the method, but she supplemented the syllabus with her personal experiences that made the 3 hour classes fly by and captivated us so intensely. After the class, Mike was actually excited to go back and looking forward to it as much as I was. Throughout the four sessions, we learned about special birth circumstances, our responsibilities in preparing for a natural birth (practicing relaxation, eating healthy, exercise and good posture, to name a few), as well as the research on our current medical practices in the U.S. and what our rights are in terms of refusal and consent. We watched some amazing video clips and documentaries that left such an imprint on both of us that we felt a deeper connection to our son already. We learned the breathing and relaxation methods and Cynthia led us through some amazing guided relaxations.

One class experience will always stand out to me as one of the turning points, not only in my pregnancy, but in my life. The relaxation started normally enough with getting relaxed, with connecting to a place in nature, then delving into your subconscious. Once there we were directed to sit in a chair and start looking through a book of our life. The pages captured both positive and negative images of events throughout our life histories. I immediately started to breathe more rapidly, became tense and tears began streaming down my face. My history of sexual assault, of illness, of miscarriage, of giving my power over to others and more recently, of being bullied and sexually harassed at work were the ones that popped out to me immediately. In my conscious, I had dealt with each of these things: I had years of therapy and my PTSD had been gone for years, I was healthier than I ever had been before, I found meaning in my miscarriage, I had found my voice again and I had turned in the people who attempted to abuse me at my workplace, supported by the 4 other women who experienced the same thing. I THOUGHT I was at peace with all of these things. But in my subconscious, they were still there. After I ripped those pages out and let them go in my subconscious, she had us stand on a stage in front of all the people who had ever taken our power away or who we had given my power away to and it suddenly hit me why I had the reaction to seeing those events. Externally, I had let these go. In my conscious life, I no longer felt the impact of these events. But internally and sub-consciously, these still made me doubt myself. I had my power ripped away during moments of my life and I had given it away because I thought I needed people's affection and affirmation. But when Cynthia instructed us to tell those people that we were taking the power back and that we would make the best decisions about our own bodies and lives, I could feel my fears about birth, about our crunchy granola decisions, people's unsolicited or solicited advice that went against our intuition and all of my doubts melt away. Wilson chose me as his mother and Mike for his father for a reason; these experiences were all for a reason. And I would never again give up my power over my own body or decisions about my baby because of guilt, shame or fear.

So beyond that completely life-changing experience, here is what I took away from this method:

• You cannot control your birth journey, but you can prevent some problems and certainly control how you react.
• Staying relaxed and calm means you will experience less pain, shorter labors and a better birth experience, both physiologically and emotionally.
• Who you have with you and your environment will impact your ability to stay calm. The moment that someone disrespects you or you feel in danger in any way, your labor will stop progressing as the body's adaptive process takes over. You are telling your body you are not safe, so it is slowing down or stopping your labor until you are safe again. Thinking about how most women give birth, in a non-supportive environment, with fear, with disrespect and humiliation and in the worst position to boot, I can easily see why we in the U.S. describe our birth experiences as more painful and difficult than women in other countries who do not have the same experiences.
• Birth does not necessarily have to be perceived as a ridiculously painful experience that you just have to suffer through; it can be a meaningful and transformational experience.
• You can approach your pregnancy and birth with an educated competence, confidence and calmness and believe in your body's abilities.
• If something unplanned does happen, as it likely will in all areas of life, you can handle it with calmness and still feeling empowered.
• For years women have been giving their power away or it has been taken from them in many ways, when in reality, we are in charge of our own lives and never have to take abuse or disrespect from anyone.
• I now had a vision of what a spiritual birth looked like. One of the documentary clips, The Birth We Know, showed these experiences from women giving birth in Russia. It resonated with me so much; the way the women moved, closed their eyes and smiled, gave themselves completely over to their labor and their body was beautiful. That was the vision I had all along.
• We will be good parents. On the last day of class, as Mike and I were driving home, I asked Mike what he learned from the classes. He turned to me and said, "She made me excited about having a baby." People who know Mike know how significant this was; he had worried for years about whether or not he would be a good father and if having a child was something he should even do. At the onset of Mike's and my discussions of birth with our doula, she asked us what we were most anxious about. I said "the birth" and Mike said "what happens after the birth." In this class, the knowledge provided and Cynthia, had transformed both of our fears into excitement. Something we will never forget or for which we will cease to be thankful.

 Some people go into this class thinking they are learning how to have birth without pain and I don't think that is what it really is about. Some women experience extreme pain; some do not. We all pray we are those that do not, but the reality is that birth is a difficult and profound experience, emotionally, physically and spiritually. At minimum, you are feeling these huge changes going on in your body, conquering the negative thoughts and fears you have in your mind, hoping to accentuate the positive thoughts and alleviate any stress and responding to your environment in ways you maybe never have before. Some describe the experience as just intense, not painful, but either way, birth is a personal experience and journey. I completely believe that no one can tell you what your birth will be like, so for me, I wanted to be prepared for anything. I wanted to be able to be calm and not fight my body. I wanted this to be a healing experience for me, Mike and the best experience possible for little Wilson. As I get closer to birth, I know there are lots of possibilities and lots of things that can go right or wrong with our birth experience. But I also know that I did my best. I ate well and exercised; I made Wilson my priority by educating myself, taking it easy from work, changing my life in significant ways and attending to my marriage and my relationship with Mike. I meditate every day, I practice yoga, I have prepared and nested, I read, I relax and I enjoy every moment of my life. I have done everything I can; the rest is in the universe's hands. But whatever my birth journey has in store for me, I know Mike and I will handle it and be stronger for it.