My husband, partner and best friend...

I know that a lot of times dads get a bad rap: they don't have to be pregnant, breastfeed or deliver babies, tend to be the non-primary caregiver, get more easily frustrated with the kiddos, fail to understand what it is like to be home all day with children and sometimes say things that make us moms want to kill them (e.g., What dooo you do all day?). 

But as I am here laying in bed sick this morning, I could not help but reflect on everything that Mike does - that make him an epic father and husband. Even though Mike has always had a well-oiled, ridiculously regimented wake-up schedule before he goes to work, he altered it so that he can get up early with Wilson allowing me to sleep a few more precious hours before he has to leave. He gets up in the morning, changes and feeds Wilson, getting him dressed and often making more homemade formula (since my son drinks it like he's a frat boy, and rather than formula, we've replaced it with gin and juice). He gets dressed very quickly, coming to give me a goodbye kiss, only waking me up at the last possible moment, so I can spend the most time sleeping. He works all day as a Physical Education teacher, running around with elementary school students - seeing all 600 of them in a week. And somehow, unlike me with my PE teacher, he manages to make most of them enjoy it. He is always doing new fun things (a real-life replica of Angry Birds and Plants vs. Zombies, Dancing, etc.), helps with the PTA and does extra things like work on Cultural events for the school. He comes immediately home after work, often bringing me a treat or flowers. I try very hard not to throw Wilson at him the moment he comes home (most of the time I am good at that!), but Wilson often attacks him for a big hug as soon as he hears the door open. After a busy and exhausting day, I often haven't had time to do the dishes - and Mike seeing them, will often, without me ever having to ask, clean them up. He will often take Wilson for a walk so that I can get some rest after being full-time mommy all day, he helps me feed and bathe him; and when I'm not feeling well (like these last few days), he will put him to bed. Knowing I didn't feel well last night, he rubbed my shoulders, kissed me on the temple and asked me how I was feeling. Then he went to bed early, so he could get up early and start this whole process over again. Probably the most amazing thing about Mike is that he worries that he doesn't do enough or that he should never feel cranky. He worries about building a relationship with Wilson that is strong and reads parenting books and magazines late at night that I sometimes veto for freaking him out too much.

I know I am not alone; because of the new family dynamics, men are really stepping up and helping out around the house, with the kids and balancing their masculine roles with more nurturing and feminine ones. They aren't afraid to babywear, gush over their babies, enjoy snuggling and want to be more engaged with their children. Just like women who are balancing multiple roles in this new culture and generation, they are trying to settle into a new role in which they were not prepared, did not see modeling for and often feel like they are unsure of how well they are doing in it. They have worries, anxieties, fears about their gender role and how they are as a parent; except they were not socialized with the emotional and verbal skills (or the freedom to do so without mockery) to express their feelings.

So my reflection for today: I'm incredibly lucky to have Mike as a partner, to have him as the father to my son. I have every confidence that Wilson will grow up knowing what it means to be a good man and a good dad because he gets to see it everyday.