Finding the bright side...

I just received a notice on my phone from Babies'r'us with an update to their facebook page, alerting me to the National Sleep Foundation findings regarding infant sleep. And I quote, "Infants typically sleep 9-12 hours during the night and take 30 minute to two-hour naps, one to four times a day – fewer as they reach age one." Let me speak for the parents with infants on the bottom of the sleep curve. SHUT IT. I don't want to hear about the beautiful sleep I shoulda/woulda/coulda had. 

I believe that whenever your baby doesn't meet the expectations of the norm or majority, you really feel like a failure. No matter how hard you try not to, you find yourself comparing yourself and your child to your peers and their children. It makes you uneasy, it gives you anxiety surrounding the future and it wrecks your self-esteem. And the worst part, is that when we fall short on these comparisons, we actually start to dislike the "others" or at the very least, you covet what they have: normality, ease and/or predictability. But, that's what we easily forget. There is no life that is "normal", easy or predictable. To think so is just an illusion; every person's life is difficult, albeit in different ways. Like a big, amazing house, the illusion of beauty makes you not see the large mortgage behind it. A rich person may seem happy, but, as research has found, there is actually a culture of emptiness and inner pain, depression and anxiety that is not easily seen from the outside for those in affluence. The bottom line: you really can't understand the difficulty in someone's life unless you walk in their shoes. So, the best thing we can do for ourselves is keep our eyes on our own lives, understand our challenges, but be thankful for what we have.

I understand our challenges as they are numerous, but I'm going to take a moment to be thankful for my current situation as I sometimes forget, especially when I'm sick, overwhelmed and, obviously, horribly sleep-deprived.

• I am thankful that I had amazing parents of my own who showed me what it means to be a loving and responsive parent.
• I am thankful that I met an amazing person who became my husband and father of my child. He's always thinking of how to be a better husband and father, even though he's already excellent at both.
• I am thankful that I have an amazing job that gives me the flexibility I need with my health condition and as a parent.
• I am thankful for my friends who are always there to listen when I am struggling and help out when they can. 
• I am thankful that Wilson is healthy.
• I am thankful that he is amazingly bright and alert, as well as quite communicative!
• I am thankful that he finds comfort by being connected to me (literally!).
• I am thankful that even though we have had minimal support, Mike and I are making it, in all the ways that count.
•  I am thankful that, as I just heard of another infant who lost his life tonight, that mine just interrupted this post for me to hold him closely and with all of the love I have in my heart.

And with that, I'm feeling very blessed.